Who needs platelets anyway?

Apparently you did, cause when I talked to the nurse this morning they said to bring you in.  It was my first time "all alone" without another adults help.  I should have brought reinforcements.

We just got off to a bad start. You were in good spirits on the way down. Then I realized I forgot the EMLA. No worries, we'll just borrow some of Pams (the "weighing nurse" you call her cause she does your height weight and vitals at the start of clinic appts). We put some on when we got there, but she didnt have press and seal so we had to use a mini window sticker. No prob...or so I thought.

Your poor skin was raw to begin with from yesterdays multiple port/sticker removal. Not to mention the 4 bandaids we went through when you wouldnt quit bleeding. So, when we took the little EMLA sticker off it kinda hurt. Which was ok, until they had to scrub (literally) your port with a chloroprep cleaner.  You screamed bloody murder it stung so bad. I blew on it to cool it of  a bit, and the nurse tried to be gentle but it had to be done. Poor kiddo. It LOOKED like it hurt, cant imagine how bad it felt. To make matters worse they had to put another window sticker over your freshly sterilized and accessed port! Luckily, the understanding nurse put an special mesh bandage over it that comes off much easier when your all done.

Once you were hooked up they gave you the usual Tylenol/Benadryl combo (to pretreat for allergic reaction to the platelets). I explained to you before hand that it would probably make you feel funny and sleepy.  You said thats ok cause you just wanted to watch a movie in the Infusion Room anyway. So, after all that we headed to infusion where you got increasingly aggitated. I knew it was because the Benadryl was kicking in.  You kept grabbing your head and rubbing your eyes. I knew the feeling from when I was younger. Id had an allergic reaction to something and had hives covering my legs and back....the docs gave me a Benadryl shot and the hives went away, but the medicine made me feel really weird.  REALLY weird.

I started a movie for you in an effort to distract you, and it worked for a minute.  You kept crying out that your port hurt, and the sticker was itching it. Im sure with all that raw dry skin it was very itchy.  Every time youd cry out it'd scare Tucker and he'd start to cry. Id comfort you, then try to calm him down. Back and forth that went for about a half hour when you finally crashed and fell asleep.  It was good cause then I could try and get Tucker to sleep.  He was asleep for maybe 10 minutes when you woke up crying (rather loudly) that your port hurt and you wanted to go home. Tucker woke right back up and the nurse came and unhooked your platelet tube.  I told you reassuringly that we had to wait a few minutes then the nurse would unplug you and we could go.

That was a big mistake.  You lost it instantly.  You DID NOT want someone messing with that sticker.  When the time came to get it done I told you you could choose to sit on my lap and have the nurse do it or sit on the chair and have me do it.  You chose to sit on my lap, but as soon as the nurse started lifting your shirt you lost it again.  I have never seen you scream and throw a fit like that EVER! Not even on steroids! You were kicking and screaming and arching your back.  Flopping around. The nurses tried to pin your legs down, but stopped when you said you need me to take you potty first. I took you in the bathroom to try to calm you down and help you go. You went but were having a hard time calming down so we stayed in there a minute till you did. It was really hard for me to watch you have such a hard time. I kept trying to tell you they didnt have to put any cleaner on it so it wouldnt hurt or sting at all, but there was no reasoning with you.  Meanwhile I could hear Tucker in his stroller crying.

I finally got you to take some slow deep breaths to help you calm down.  I could see in your eyes that you wanted to calm down, but even you couldnt control your feelings. You kept saying "Im just scared mom, Im just so scared mom..." It breaks my heart that you have all this to deal with. FINALLY you calmed down and I RE-explained that there would be no stinging cleaner, and that if you could hold really still for the nurse I would take you to the gift shop after to look for another Unicorn doll (you had lost one given to you in the hospital by Ry).  That seemed to be a good motivator.  You wanted me to hold you and told the nurse to go extra slow. She promised she would and you were very good after that.  The un-plugging was painless and you even got a Princess and the Frog bandaid. All the while, Karen (one of our fave nurses), held Tucker to calm him down.  Thank heaven she was there.

There were no unicorns, so you picked out a little stuffed puppy that came in a little cloth carrier.  You named it Skittles, then Sophie, then Hallie, then Sam, and just before bed it was Skittles again.  You seem to love it, its pretty cute. And worth every penny.

Yikes, what a day! I am exhausted. When we got home we sat on the front porch and enjoyed the crisp fresh air. It felt good after being cooped up in the hospital all day.

We watched the beginning of another beautiful West Point sunset and I was reminded that everything will be ok...and so will I.