After you got your chemo I watched you like a hawk wondering when you were going to start feeling terrible. I definately noticed some of the old familiar side effects of the steroid, but it wasnt un-manageable. You got weaker legs. I could tell because you have been pushing harder on your knees when you climb stairs, and you pull yourself up with the railing as you go. You also quit sleeping again (my least favorite side effect). The steroid makes it hard for you to shut your mind off (grandpa DeSoto told me how it feels since he was recently on them), and then causes you to have vivid, often scary dreams. The docs call them night terrors, but I dont think they are nearly as bad as in Induction phase. Last night I woke up to you screaming and crying for chocolate!! "Why cant I have chocolate, she has chocolate, I love chocolate, its not fair!" you said through tears. It was kind of funny. You're still totally asleep when your whining, and screaming, and dreaming. I finally stopped going in your room.It was too hard on my emotions, and patience, to get up a million(literally) times a night. Unless you call me by name, or sound really troubled I dont go in. Ive learned that you are totally asleep and theres nothing I can do but wait it out. Plus you seem to do much better when you are left alone....it seems to aggrivate the situation more when I go try to calm you down or wake you up.
By far the most obvious side effect I've noticed is how tired you are. I would say you are wiped out by 11am most days, and by the time lunch is over its definately time for a nap. You are very aware of your physical capabilities and you seem to listen to what your body is telling you really well. If you dont feel like you can run, you dont. You usually give it a try, then 4 or 5 steps into stop and say..."I cant, wait for me.." I am so amazed at how well you know your body already. You are such a little goer. You always want to be doing things, so when you are extra tired Ive noticed you adjust your activities to what you can do physically. For example, in July and August when you were feeling good you were out riding bikes with the neighbors every chance you got, but now that your more tired and weak you play barbies inside, or read books and color. You are pretty amazing that way.
|You WATCHING your sisters jump on the tramp. I knew you werent|
feeling too hot cause you never "just watch"
We had some fun this week. You went to 2 birthday parties on Saturday and had so much fun. Too much fun cause it wiped you out. You had to go early Monday morning for more chemo. This chemo came in the form of a shot inthe muscle of your thigh (called a Peg shot). It hurts. They say that the chemo is thick and that it BURNS! Poor kid. I chickened out and let daddy take you. You had to get the same shots when you were in the hospital and it was by far my worst memory from that time. I had to pin you down...it was horrible. Dad and I debated back and forth about whether we should tell you what was going to happen. We worried that if we told you in advance you'd worry and stew over it, but we also worried that you would freak out if we didnt tell you and you had to deal with it all at once. We ultimately decided to tell you Sunday night. You were nervous, but dad said you did awesome. You seem to do better when we tell you whats going to happen in advance. I think it gives you time to process everything and deal with it before it happens. It also gives you time to ask questions and understand why its important that it gets done. I think you understand better than I do most of the time. You came home in a good mood and even rode Deuce "all by yourself" with daddy that evening.
|Showing off your new "One Tough Chick"|
shirt. What a cutie patootie!
|Definately "One Tough Chick!"|
Funny story: Someone gave me some bath salts for my bday and you asked me what they were. I explained what you use them for and you instantly wanted to try them out. I told you no, cause they werent for when you are washing yourself in the tub, they are for when you just wanna soak. You have asked several times since them if you can use them with the same answer. So, when you came in from riding Deuce, you smelled terribly of bug spray and sunblock so I told you, you had to bath. You said "ok, mom, but I just wanna get soaked. Please can I get soaked this time?" It took me a second to grasp what you were saying, but once I caught on I had to laugh. Of course you can get soaked! If ever there is a day when you've earned the right to get soaked, its the day you get chemo shots in your leg!
Tuesday was daddys birthday and we took him his favorite burrito from Rancheritos for lunch. You were so excited to see him and give him his card. On the way home from that you fell asleep in the truck. You were so tired I had to hold your head up till we got home. That night we got ice cream after Carlys soccer practice. You got a "chocolate dipped in chocolate" cone, and were so proud of yourself when you ate it all gone! Wednesday we got a phone call from Hope Kids that they had some tickets for you and dad to go see the circus!! They called at 6:20 and the show started at 7 so you had to hurry, but you made it in time and seemed to have a blast. Your favorite part was "the girls who do cool tricks hanging on the swings." You also loved the elephants and the motorcyle guy on the tight rope. Im so glad you were feeling good enough to go. I cant believe how much you can tolerate and still keep going. It makes me tired just thinking about it.
|Your seats at the circus. Dad said he |
got a couple of nose bleeds
|Big elephant on a little stool|